Semester Recap

This semester has been a time of both growth and learning. After the intensity that was freshman year, I decided (with some prompting from my parents) to take a step back and focus on finding the perfect balance between busyness and just being. Let me tell you, it has been quite the journey. There have been ups. There have been downs. And there have been in-betweens. Who would have guessed? :)

Rest is OK

I enjoyed this fall. I did have more downtime than I prefer, but without actually experiencing rest, I don't think I would have learned certain lessons that I will carry with me for the remainder of my life. One of those lessons was it's ok to not be doing the most. I entered my freshman year with pistols firing and joined every club I could, resulting in being a part of over 15 organizations, plugged into 5 college ministries, and working a new job while taking 15 hours. It was a lot. I didn't recognize it at the time, but the way I was living was not sustainable. While externally I was thriving, internally I was at my lowest. My mental health was at rock bottom and my cup was empty. Yay. But I truly didn't know any other way to live. Fast-forward to this semester, I did a little experiment. I was still in a lot of clubs, but I picked one church to really invest in, and my course load was lighter. I made sure to prioritize time for myself, my friends, and God. What a 180. As I said, there were moments of boredom in which I did experience anxiety and guilt for not doing more than others, but in the discomfort of stillness, I was able to self-reflect and learn to be able to sit in silence. And even if I wasn't booked every moment of my day, it all turned out ok. Even though I got 8 hours of sleep instead of the 3.5 hours I was proud to survive on during my freshman year, it all turned out ok. And I was able to be more intentional with the people I cared about most. This upcoming spring I am incorporating more activity into my schedule but with the perspective that I can say "no" to things and not have every second of every day booked.

Comparison is Unproductive

When reflecting back on freshman year, I had to address what the motivation behind my intense schedule was. Why did I feel the need to be so busy? The answer was simple. I compared myself to everyone and everything all the time. I created an impossible standard in my head of who I should be and strived to surpass my own expectations. It was impossible. And every time I fell short or felt like others were accomplishing more than me I felt angry at myself. Confirmation bias fortified the idea that I wasn't enough. Fast forward to now, I still struggle with comparison, but I have started to take small steps to work on overcoming that unhealthy habit. I don't scroll on social media as much which has really helped. I have learned to be happy when others achieve something rather than kick myself for not achieving the same things. I am learning I am enough just on my own and my accomplishments don't define me. This epiphany has taken a huge weight off my shoulders and allowed me to enjoy college a lot more than I previously was.

Other Little Lessons

• Growing up is becoming best friends with your mom

• Coffee should be limited to one cup a day versus three

• The Starbucks Rewards app is dangerous

• It's ok to say no

• Walking ten minutes a day is a good opportunity to practice mindfulness

Evie's Picks of the Year

These are my top picks for podcasts and books this year!

• Atomic Habits by James Clear - This book talks about how small tweaks can compound into big changes and lays out a concrete path to forming better habits. I found it very insightful and well-written. Definitely recommend giving it a read if you have the time.

• The Boundless Show- An amazing Christian-based podcast that covers any topic you could imagine from different perspectives while keeping God at the center. Thanks, mom for the suggestion :)

Overall, it was a time full of self-discovery, and I am thankful to have had this experience. Excited to see what next semester will teach me!